coming of age as an artist

this week, we open the first "show" that i have ever taken a large part of--outside of my formal education. this endeavor is an independent collaboration of a couple of artists with a vision, outside of institutional support. upon diving into this process, i had no idea the level of courage, perseverance, organizing, patience and even errand-running that would be required. so much of the work i have done for this project seems unrelated to the art itself, and yet without that work, the art would not happen.

i find significant difficulty in trying to interpret this work to friends and family, who are naturally curious about how i am spending my time these days. when asked why i am doing this, i can't come up with a good answer. it seems the answer simply is that i have to. it has been developing for so long, it just must be poured out.

i am learning what it takes to be an artist. i am drawing on reserves i didn't know i had, discovering new parts of myself in the process, for good and bad.